The 1st Broadcast - The 84th Broadcast
- 2030, May 6, 16:07 -
“...Umm… test, test. This is working, right? Ahem. One two, one two… is this really set up right? Uhh, can you hear me? Please tell me if you can.
“Then again, it’s not like you have any way of replying, I know that. If you can hear me though, please come here, to the center of the this mad world. I’ll be waiting… God, this is going to be so dumb if it turns out I’m not even broadcasting.
“And now I’m embarrassed… Right. Anyway. I’m going to believe that my voice will reach you and keep talking.
“Alright then, it’s time for the first broadcast of the Apocalypse Radio. I thought of the name myself. Cool, right?
“I know I said that this is a radio program, but there’s no way for me to interact with you, so no call-ins or answering letters. It’s just going to be me rambling about whatever goes through my mind at the time. Zero planning skills, I have.
“... Talking to thin air like this is already making me want to dig a hole for myself, but I’m going to ignore that. If my friends see me like this, I will cry. For many reasons.
“Sooo, I haven’t talked to any humans for days now. It’s why I started this broadcast. Got too lonely. So I’d really appreciate it if you can spare the time to listen to me chatter.
“The folks shambling around outside only ever know how to moan and groan. Terrible conversationists! And crazy, too, they rush right at you the moment they see you.
“I’m used to the sight now, but back then, I was shocked the first time I saw them. Oh man, this takes me back. I remember how I had this one thought running through my mind, ‘Zombies really do look exactly like zombies, huh,’ even when I was near pissing myself at the time. When something you’ve always thought were just fiction appeared in front of you, you’re not going to feel like it’s real.
“And while I was still blanking out, two or maybe three of my friends got bitten right in front of me. Still think about it to this day. And then I ran and hid inside a toilet for three whole days, just sobbing while trying to keep my voice down… Wow, now that I think about it, I’m surprised I survived through that. Amazing. Good job, me.
“Anyway, I’ll skip the part about my friends, it’s a tragedy that’s happened to everyone in a world like this. Maybe I’ll talk about them some day, on this program. If I feel like it.
“So anyway, I think it’s time for an introduction. Ahem. My name is… well, let’s just call me A. I’m going for the mysterious stranger approach. Cool, right?
“Right, let’s see… What to talk about… With the entire world being the way it is, I’m thinking maybe there should be at least one person who talks about good things, right? Hmm? Why did I name this program Apocalypse Radio if I wanted to do feel-good stories, you say? Nuh-uh, can’t hear you.
“Let’s start with my school stories then. Back in school, I was in the volleyball club. Technically a regular in the team, too, even though I sucked. Our club was so small I had to take the field.
“I found my own ways to cover for my lack of talent, and whenever I managed to contribute something to the team - which were rare occasions, mind you - it made me so happy… then again, I messed things up more often than I helped, really, but I’m sure everyone forgave me for that. For example, at the end of my third year…
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“-----ahahahahah!-----
“---and then,---
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“----------I surprisingly had a talent in—-----
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“----hmm? How old I am? I guess you can technically call me still in my early 20s… Wait, that might as well be a straight answer, wasn’t it?
“Look, I still want to cling to my youth, alright? And I haven’t graduated college yet anyway…
“Oh, look at the time. I think I should end this here. Thank you for listening to the Apocalypse Radio. I’ll be on-air again the same time tomorrow, probably! Stay tuned!... Is that how you end a radio program? Ah well, whatever… Oh, right, this button. Uhh, so goodbye everyone, and I’ll see you again.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 1st broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 7, 16:37 -
“Test, test, this is probably fine. Umm, hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. Once again, I’m your host, A. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you.
“We’re on our second episode today. Am I the talk of the town yet? I made for a pretty good radio host, right? Expecting an avalanche of fan letters… any time now… Well, I guess it’s only been the second episode. But if you’re listening to this, congratulations, because you can call yourself an early fan now! Feel free to go brag about it to your friends.
“Yesterday’s episode was a mess from the start, so today, I actually prepared a topic! I’m going to talk about that time I went to Okinawa with my friends. What? You’re not interested? Aww come on, don’t be that way, I know you’re curious.
“...It’s too depressing doing this back-and-forth by myself, so I’ll just get right to it. Anyway, it was two years ago. Which was about half a year before the outbreak. We were talking among ourselves, the four of us, and the idea of going to Okinawa suddenly came up.
“I think it was March at the time. I’m the type to want to go to a hotter place if the weather’s hot, or a colder place if the weather’s cold, so at first I was unwilling. It’s like going to Hokkaido when it’s not snowing. What’s even the point? If I’m going to Okinawa, it’s gotta be in the middle of summer. Makes no sense, right? I thought so.
“But they got really excited, and as I got carried away by their energy, the reckless college girl inside me made the executive decision to go. And well, it turned out super fun. Weather was perfect. Considering how wimpy I am, had I gone during August, I probably would have gotten heatstroke.
“We were poor so it was a short trip, just two days and one night, but the sea was super pretty so it was all good. It was why I ate so many sea grapes and got a stomachache… Wait a minute, I think something went wrong with my sentence construction. Oh no! Everyone is going to find out I’m actually stupid!... You know how it is, sometimes you get this weird brainfart. Anyway. So on the first day, we stayed at a seaside hotel—
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“--------and then it came to rock-paper-scissors—-
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“---wait a minute…—--
“-------I think I’m crying… I’m sorry, just, give me a moment, sorry-
“---right, I’m really sorry about that… It’s about time, so I’m ending the broadcast here. Not because I suddenly got really embarrassed and wanted to cut this short or anything, alright? Absolutely not. Anyway, goodbye everyone, and I’ll see you again tomorrow.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 2nd broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 8, 17:42 -
“Uhh, hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. I’m your host, the mysterious pretty girl A. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you.
“Sorry for being late today. There was this one infected guy who got a lot rowdier than usual, so I had to reinforce the barricade. Man, that was so much trouble. We only just made eye contact through the barricade and he went wild. I mean, I get where he was coming from, how can anyone be calm when in the presence of such an esteemed radio personality as me, right? But unfortunately I date humans only. Too bad for him, he’s going to have to give up.
“Despite the way I look… wait, you can’t see me… I’m actually quite handy. Fixing a barricade is easy as pie. Ooh, I know you just doubted me, didn’t you? It’s true. I can sew, I can cook too. I’m the perfect girl.
“Then again, you kind of have to be handy to survive in this world. Do it yourself, because there’s no one else to do it for you! Right, maybe that was a bit too dark for this program.
“Oh yeah, so what do you think my best recipe is? I can make pretty much anything, but there’s one food I’m sure I can make better than anyone else. Take a guess… Is it curry? Is it meat and potato stew? Nope! It’s hotpot! Hey, you there, you just thought that anyone can make hotpot, didn’t you?! You’re absolutely wrong! In my hands, a hotpot-
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“-And that’s it for today. Goodbye, everyone, and see you next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 3rd broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 9, 17:15 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. As always, I’m your host, A. Tomorrow’s host will still be me, A. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you.
“I get the feeling it’s about time someone start complaining about where the center of the world even is. Well let me say this: this is the center of the world. That’s right. Where I am is the center of the world. You there! The one who just thought, ‘What the hell is this woman saying?’ I ask you a question: where is the center of your world? Wherever you are at this very moment, right? Get what I mean?
“I live with the belief that where I am is where the center of the world is. Which makes it quite interesting, since the fact is that the center of the world moves. Most of the time the center of the world is in a bed. Sometimes the center of the world goes to take a look at the barricade or get food, but that’s about it. It doesn’t really move a lot. In fact, the center of the world really doesn’t want to move around.
“Alright, I think that joke has gone on long enough, so let’s move on to our next topic. Let’s see, today we’ll talk about how my thumb has a stupidly large range of movement.
“Try pulling your thumb back as far as you can… Have you done it? Now imagine it going back twice as much. That’s my thumb. Amazing image, right? I really wanted to show everyone, but unfortunately this is a radio program. Sad.
“The last time I showed this to my friends at an izakaya bar, I sent the room in stitches. Though they were all so drunk I had no idea what they were even saying. Had to send all the drunkards back to their places too, god, that was a pain in the behind… wait, no, tangent’s gone too far. Uh, what was I talking about again?
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“That’s it. Goodbye, everyone. I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 4th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 10, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. As mentioned in yesterday’s broadcast, today’s host is also me, A. Tomorrow’s host? A secret! You there! You just thought that it’s going to be me again, didn’t you?! You’re absolutely right! Also I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you!
“So I have something I just gotta talk about today, can I get right to it? Alright! So get this, after who knows how long, I had a good dream! I won the lottery! Five hundred million yen! In my dream, that is. I’m the type that can’t recognize it’s a dream even if something really outlandish is happening, did you know that? You probably don’t care.
“So what will you do if you won the lottery? In my dream, I went to Hawaii with my family. I know, I know, that’s not gonna spend all my five hundred mils. But I’ve got the financial sense of a peasant, believe it or not, and that’s about the only way I can think of to spend a large amount of money. Other than the trip, the other ideas I have are buying that bathtub thingy that makes bubbles, stuff like that.
“Anyway, winning five hundred millions was just a side note. What really made me happy was that I met my family in the dream. Before that, the only thing I ever dreamt about were hordes and hordes of infected. I haven’t met them in a while, I’m really starting to miss them. Dad, mom… Oh yeah, I’ve never told you about my family, right?
“Our family has four people. Dad, mom, me, and my little sister! Except for the fact that my beauty can launch a thousand ships, it was just a family you can find anywhere. I mean, it still is. My sister’s insolent enough to have a curvier body than me, god I’m getting pissed just remembering her. She used to look at me and just gave me a thumbs up while saying absolutely nothing, but I could just hear it. ‘There’s still hope for you,’ she must have been thinking. Screw her. And then-
“---------------
“And that’s it for today. Goodbye, everyone, I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 5th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 11, 17:00 -
“Hello, everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. As always, I’m your host, A. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you-
“-------------------
“-Goodbye, everyone, I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 6th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 12, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. As always, I’m your host, A. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you-
“-I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 7th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 13, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. As always, I’m your host, A. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you-
“-I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 8th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 14, 17:00 -
“-I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you-
“-I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 9th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 15, 17:00 -
“-I’m broadcasting from the center of the world-
“-I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 10th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 16, 17:00 -
“-and I believe that my voice will reach you-
“-see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 11th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 18, 17:00 -
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“-see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 12th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 19, 17:00 -
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- The Apocalypse Radio, 13th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 20, 17:00 -
- The Apocalypse Radio, 14th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- 2030, May 21 -
- The Apocalypse Radio, 15th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- May 22 -
- The Apocalypse Radio, 16th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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- The Apocalypse Radio, 17th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
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“I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you.”
“Goodbye, everyone, I’ll see you again next time.”
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- 2030, July 28, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. As always, I’m your host, A. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you.
“Hot! So. Goddamn. Hot! Like I said previously, this place has solar electricity, so I get power, but the AC is soooo weak. Show some guts, man! You’re never gonna go to the nationals at this rate!
“Wait, usually it makes this brrr sound but I just heard it went silent… Aww crap, the AC’s stopped! It couldn’t handle my abuse anymore and went on strike! What are you doing?! There’s no union for you to join! Work harder, please! If you don’t I’m going to die of the heat!
“Ooh, it just went brrr again. That’s right, boy. I know you have potential. Come on! Come on!... Aaahhh no don’t stop!
“...*sigh*…it broke down again. I just fixed it a while ago. I’m gonna have to do it again after today’s program is over. Goddd. Anyway, that’s why today’s broadcast is going to be shorter than usual. I know heatstroke’s not something you underestimate. Like I said, I used to be in the volleyball club in my school days.
“This is the season of heatstrokes, everyone, so please take care of yourself. Watch out for dehydration too. Drink often!
“Let’s see, what to talk about for today… Alright, I’m going to talk about how I overheard my sister telling mom how I always put out scissors first whenever I play rock-paper-scissors, and then we play a match over ice-cream where I confidently used rock, and it was a tie.
“-----why does paper even beat rock—--
“------------and despite it all, she’s still—-
“------then I—--
“----Alright, it’s getting really hot so that’s it for today. Goddd, fixing the AC is such a painnnn… Goodbye, everyone, I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 84th broadcast. Audience number: 1 -
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