The 94th Broadcast and Beyond
- 2030, August 17, 18:12 -
“-well, I think I’ve talked enough to make an episode, right? Okay, I’m ending this. Goodbye everyone. I’ll see you again next time… was that good? And how do I stop this, anyway? Right, right, this button… hmm, didn’t seem to work. Seriously how does this thing work?... Ooohh it’s gotta be this one, man that’s so hard to-”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 94th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
- 2030, August 18, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you. The center of the world is _____. If you have the time, please do come and visit. I’m always waiting.
“I’m your host, and my name is Satou. I’m still very new at this, but I plan on sticking with this program for a long time. My predecessor was miss A, a woman whose name I still don’t know even after all this time. Personally I’d like it if someone can remember my name, so yes, that’s my real surname. I will take a page from miss A’s book and keep my given name a secret, however.
“Despite the name, this program is apparently all about positivity, so I’m going to have to psyche myself up. Come on y’all, gimme some noise! YEAH!... Okay this just isn’t me.
“Something I never realized until I actually started being a host is that sitting alone in a room and talking to someone that may or may not exist, for every single day, isn’t doable unless you’re at least a little bit insane. That wasn’t a jab at miss A, by the way, I meant that as a compliment.
“Just imagine yourself talking for one hour straight. Can you be sure you won’t run out of topics by then? Seriously, how her brain worked I have no idea. Then again I’m following her footsteps anyway, I’ll figure this out sooner or later.
“So, today’s topic. If you can go abroad, where would you want to go? What, thinking I just picked the most clichéd topic? I sure did. What are you gonna do about it-
“----------
“Goodbye, everyone. I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 95th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
- 2030, August 19, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. I’m your host, Satou. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you. The center of the world is _____. If you have the time, please do come and visit. I’m always waiting.
“Today-
“----------
“Goodbye, everyone. I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 96th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
- 2030, August 20, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. Again, I’m your host, Satou. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you. The center of the world is _____. If you have the time, please do come and visit. I’m always waiting.
“----------
“Goodbye, everyone. I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 97th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
- 2030, August 21, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. I’m your host, Satou, just as hale and hearty as ever. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you. The center of the world is _____. If you have the time, please do come and visit. I’m always waiting.
“Goodbye, everyone. I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 98th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
- 2030, August 22, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. I’m your host, Satou. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you. The center of the world is _____. If you have the time, please do come and visit. I’m always waiting.
“----------
“Goodbye, everyone. I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 99th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
- 2030, August 23, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. As always, I’m your host, Satou. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you. The center of the world is _____. If you have the time, please do come and visit. I’m always waiting.
“Do you know what day it is today? It’s the 100th episode of the Apocalypse Radio. Then again, I’ve only been broadcasting for about five or six of them.
“Anyway, to celebrate, today will be a special episode. I can guess what’s on your mind right now - you’re all wondering what’s different about it, right? The answer is: nothing in particular.
“I mean, sure, this episode is going to be longer than usual, but that’s about it. Hold on there, this isn’t my fault. It’s just what was written on miss A’s note. For those of you who aren’t aware, A is my predecessor, the previous host before me, who called herself a genius but was probably just an idiot. The note says, ‘You won’t believe this! The special episode is going to be… a longer episode! You can hear my voice for even longer than usual! Oooh, the people missing out are going to be so jealous of you!’ That’s what it said about the special episode, nothing else.
“I’m… not sure how to put this. I do respect miss A, but I don’t want to be like her. Do you get the feeling?
“So that’s why today’s episode will run for twice the time. Then again, the hosts of this program can start or end it at any time they want anyway, so really it’s special in name only. It fills up more time than the usual episode, which is why I’ll call this a filler episode.
“Alright, what should I talk about today? It’s the 100th episode so I had wanted to do a look back at our past episodes like how this kind of thing usually goes, but I only really know the last fifteen. There’s nothing to look back to. If there’s anyone more familiar with this program than me, please hurry up and come here to the center of the world.
“Now that plan A has failed, I can only move to plan B: announcing my food ranking. Sorry I’m so uncreative. Not actually sorry though. If there’s one thing I’ve realized recently, it’s that I suck several kinds of ass at thinking of topics. I mean, I’m not actually this bad in a normal conversation, just thinking that a radio host probably isn’t my calling. Ah well, whatever.
“So. My favorite food. I know I started this topic, but honestly I have so many it’s hard to make a ranking… Alright, here I go. At number 10 is-
“----------
“That sure was a long one. It’s time to end the special episode. Goodbye, everyone, I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 100th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
“I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 101st broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
“The center of the world is _____.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 102nd broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
“-I believe that my voice will reach you.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 108th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
“Goodbye, everyone.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 124th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
“I’m broadcasting from the center of the world-”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 185th broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
“I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 203rd broadcast. Audience number: 0 -
—--
- 2031, January 6th, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. As always, I’m your host, Satou. I’m broadcasting from the center of the world, and I believe that my voice will reach you. The center of the world is _____. If you have the time, please do come and visit. I’m always waiting.
“It’s about time I stop the new year’s revelry, isn’t it? I-
“-----
“Goodbye, everyone, I’ll see you again next time.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 236th broadcast. Audience number: 2 -
—--
- 2031, February 7th, 17:00 -
“Hellooooo, everyone! Welcome to the Apocalypse Radio! This program is brought to you by me, Suzuki, anddd-”
“Satou. Hello.”
“Come on man, why so down in the dumps? Put a smile on that face!”
“You’re just way too hyper, Suzuki. Anyway, we’re broadcasting from the center of the world, and we believe that our voices will reach you.”
“And the center of the world is _____! Come one, come all, we’re open any time!”
“So what should we talk about today? How about my favorite sports player?”
“I already heard that one before, Satou. My first time listening to this program was the episode in which you mentioned that, so it’s stuck in my mind forever.”
“In that case, how about my favorite food?”
“And I’ve heard that one three times by now. Damn man, you suck at being a host. Let me handle this.”
“Okay, that actually hurted a little.”
“----------”
“----------”
“And goodbye, everyone! We’ll see you again next time!”
“Our next episode will be hosted by Suzuki and Tanaka.”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 238th broadcast. Audience number: 3 -
—--
- 2031, May 6th, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. We’re broadcasting from the center of the world, and we believe that our voices will reach you. The center of the world is _____. If you have the time, please do come and visit. We’re always waiting.”
“This program is brought to you by Satou, and…”
“Suzuki!”
“Tanaka,”
“Nishi,”
“And Yamada. Welcome to the program!”
“So you may have noticed that there are five of us today. That’s because today is the first anniversary of the Apocalypse Radio. Probably.”
“Why ‘probably’?”
“Because none of us heard the first episode, that’s why.”
“Oh, just to be clear since this can be confusing, but Satou is actually the second host. Right?”
“Yep. So if you count backward from the episode number, it should make the anniversary today… I sure hope so.”
“Basically it’s a special episode, right? Right!”
“What are we doing today, Satou?! You said to leave all the planning to you, so none of us actually knows what you’re up to!”
“A special episode runs for longer than usual.”
“...wait, that’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“Crap. We were idiots to have left this to Satou.”
“I forgot how terrible he is at being a radio personality.”
“Look, this isn’t my fault, it’s because A said-”
“Come on, own up! Don’t push the blame to your predecessor!”
“But it’s true…”
“-----------”
“--------------------”
“----”
“Goodbye, everyone. We’ll see you again next time.”
“I can’t believe it. We actually did nothing but talk for the entire special episode.”
“Surprising how much there is to talk about.”
“And tomorrow’s hosts will be me and Yamada! See ya!”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 356th broadcast. Audience number: 6 -
—--
“We have cucumbers in the field! It was amazing! Gosh, it’s been so long since I’ve had fresh vegetable.”
“Now I’m hankering for some tomatoes next.”
- Audience number: 8 -
—--
“Wait, you did sports? You do not look the part.”
“I will beat your ass.”
- Audience number: 23 -
—--
“I still think a metal pipe’s the greatest weapon of mankind. What do you think?”
“Way too heavy. Gimme a spear any day.”
- Audience number: 56 -
—--
- 2032, September 20th, 17:00 -
“Hello everyone, it’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. We’re broadcasting from the center of the world, and we believe that our voices will reach you. The center of the world is _____. If you have the time, please do come and visit. We’re always waiting.”
“From today onwards, every Monday episodes will be hosted by me, Satou, and a new girl who had just arrived at the center of the world last week. Your turn to introduce yourself, miss.”
“Hey, Satou.”
“What is it?”
“The first host called herself A, right?”
“Right. She called herself a mysterious pretty girl.”
“That’s so cool!”
“What?”
“I wanna be a mysterious pretty girl too!”
“Uhh… I guess in that case you can call yourself B.”
“That’s it! Hello everyone, I’m B, and I’ll be your host every Monday from now!”
“I never thought I’d get to do this with you. I heard you were the one to have made the program a household name, Satou.”
“Yeah… well, I think the real credit should belong to miss A, who started the whole thing. I don’t think anyone knows about her, right? She should be remembered.”
“In that case, I’m not going to lose to her, or my name isn’t B!”
“I’ve heard that you suck at hosting, Satou, despite being with the program the longest. Don’t worry, I’ll work hard to take your place!”
“Come on, I can’t be that bad.”
“So just leave the topics to me!”
“Ok, sure, whatever you say.”
“Let’s see… Oh, yeah, have I talked about how I’m really good at rock-paper-scissors?”
“How can you even be good at that? It’s all luck, isn’t it?”
“No no no, I really am. Alright then Satou, play a round with me. Rock, paper, scissors!... Wait, what? I lost?”
“I don’t think that was the evidence you wanted.”
“...that’s so weird. I’ve never lost a round when I played with my sister.”
“Huh, so I guess you really are good, then?”
“Yep. My older sister is an idiot, so she only ever puts out scissors first. It’s why I always won with rock.”
“Then that doesn’t mean you’re good, she’s just terrible.”
“Nooooo…”
“But look-”
“-------------”
“--------”
“--------------------”
“Mmm… Honestly I’m still not convinced.”
“You’re making me really curious about your sister now, B.”
“Well… I actually haven’t met her in a long while now, but I’m sure I will some day. She’s an idiot, but she’s not afraid to take action, even if it’s for the strangest reasons at times. I think that, one way or another, she’d figure out how to survive through it all. Who knows, maybe she’s already really close. Maybe she’ll pop up at the center of the world as early as tomorrow.”
“Well well well, I can’t wait. Aaand before we knew it, it’s already time to end today’s episode. Can you do the goodbye, B?”
“Got it. Alright then, everyone, today’s broadcast was brought to you by Satou and B! We’ll see you again next week! Bye bye!”
- The Apocalypse Radio, 857th broadcast. Audience number: 258 -
—--
“Hellooo everyone! It’s time for the Apocalypse Radio. Today’s episode is brought to you by me, the genius, the beauty, the maiden of mystery, B! By the way, Satou is taking a break today. We’re broadcasting from the center of the world, and we believe that our voices will reach you!”
—--
- 2030, May 6, 16:00 -
She sat there, a microphone set in front of her as she took deep breaths.
She wanted to see people again.
And this was the first step to do that.
She even thought of an excuse. That she wanted to bring joy back to this depressing world.
She could do it now.
The microphone was her last hope.
She was no savior.
She was stupid, excessively self-conscious, a bit of a narcissist, and a coward.
Just another human you can find anywhere.
It is true, that she would never get what she wished for before her end. She would depart this world empty-handed.
And yet it’s also true that her excuse would one day become the first ray of light to brighten up this world of darkness again.
She pressed the button.
“...Umm… test, test. This is working, right? Ahem. One two, one two… is this really set up right? Uhh, can you hear me? Please tell me if you can.”
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